Every now and then, I have to fight the feeling of despair. It’s hard being a lefty now a days. Maybe I should grow a skullett, put on my Iron Maiden t-shirt1, buy a Dodge Ram, and put an “I’d rather be bow hunting” bumper sticker on my car? Maybe I should join the local Intelligent Design study group? To hell with evolution!As I approached this true moral delemma, a friend sent me Warren Beatty’s commencement remarks to UC Berkeley’s Goldman School of Public Policy. Aside from Bulworth, I’m not the biggest Warren Beatty fan (see also: Ishtar, Dick Tracy). But his criticisms of Governor Terminator and his $70 million special election for this fall are dead on.
So of all people to prevent me from moving to the dark side, I have Warren Beatty to thank. Maybe I should give Shampoo one more try.
——————–
[1] While I do own an Iron Maiden t-shirt, I own no albums, nor could I name a single song, by Iron Maiden.
As expected, Jennifer received her Masters last Wednesday. She passed with “high honors”, which is the highest level of passing you can achieve. Pretty amazing. I’ m a pretty lucky guy.And we had the her party yesterday at the Bak Dor, which I was told was a lot of fun - or at least, I was told I had a lot of fun. The folks at the Bak Dor were great. Everyone really seemed to enjoy themselves. There are photos - some of which will never be posted and I’ll probably destroy (i.e. the “dance-off” between Kevin and I, in which I was forced to break out my version of “the worm”). Stay tuned.
So for those wondering if God did stop the rain, he did. And replaced it with gale force winds. Ha ha ha ha, jokes on me. Kind of like wishing for a $1 million, and having a million silver dollars fall out of the sky and crush you to death.Apart from the sacrilege, the big news this week - including my little sister’s 24th birthday today (Happy Birthday, Alyson) - is Jennifer’s completion of her M.A. It’s not so much that she has completed it, but that there’s a party this Friday (May 20th) at the Bak Dor in Goleta in celebration of her completing it. It’s all about priorities. You’re all invited.
This is huge, if for nothing more than I’m officially dating someone who is more educated than I. Yes, I also have a Masters, but Jennifer has completed the first few steps for her Ph.D, so there you go. I better learn how to cook.
An Open Letter to God
While I’m sure you visit my web site regularly (I didn’t realize you used Verizon), I’m hoping to ask just a slight favor from you. I know we don’t talk much (other than my frequent requests for you to “damn” things). Heck, I’m still not entirely sure you exist. But since it can’t hurt to ask, I just thought I might give it a go with one small, public request.
PLEASE STOP WITH THE RAIN!
It’s May. It’s half-way through Spring. Unless you’ve charged someone in Santa Barbara with building an ark (probably somebody up in north county), we’ve had enough.
You’re weather is ruining my ability to laugh at other people. If it’s not sunny, I can’t walk down the street and see a bunch of soriority and fraternity types on a patio singing along with Coolio’s Gangster’s Paradise. I can’t walk down the street and hear the woman behind me say into her cellphone, “I’m mailing some shit to my bitch-ass friend.” I can’t be out at night and hear the guy with disturbingly-odd facial hair say, “I’m not going to another bar! I have $5 and I owe child support!” 1
I know we’ve had our ups and downs. And I’m certainly no Kirk Cameron when it comes to all of that “morality” stuff. But if you could do this one little favor for me, I just might get Mark-David to stop making Pope jokes.
———–
[1] All of these things did happen. I swear to…
