Bryan D. Brown

So last Christmas, I made the mistake of flying U.S. Airways to visit my folks for the holidays (they live an hour out of Las Vegas). Since Christmas fell on a Tuesday, U.S. Airways thought it would be an excellent idea to overbook the flights the previous Friday - given that, for a lot of people including myself, it was a four day holiday. In fairness to U.S. Airways, it is really difficult for a major airline to plan, in advance, for a four day holiday and appropriately book flights. That would require counting the number of seats on a plane, booking only that number of flights, and being moderately organized and competent.

For the record, the number of people people impacted by U.S. Airways overbooking my flight was six - which was the exact number by which U.S. Airways overbooked. Oddly enough, everyone who wanted to take that flight actually did want to fly that day. For those of you still with me, my flight was not the only flight overbooked. I spent a wonderful six hours at Santa Barbara Airport, arriving in Las Vegas, after yet another delay in Phoenix, eight hours after I was scheduled to land. Yes, it would have taken less time to drive. Touché, U.S. Airways.

So for my six hour stint at Santa Barbara Airport - which is a horrible airport at which to be stranded - I received, in the parlance of our times, a voucher. For those who don’t know what, in the parlance of our times, a voucher looks like, here it is:

Here are the terms of, in the parlance of our time, the voucher:

$200 OFF MAY BE APPLIED TOWARD THE PRICE OF ANY ONE TICKET OR MAY BE EXCHANGED FOR A FREE ROUNDTRIP RESTRICTED COACH CLASS TICKET TO THE ELIGIBLE DESTINATION: THE CONTINENTAL 48 STATES

See, “RESTRICTED” can really mean anything. But I digress…

So, as Jennifer and I are hoping to visit my folks for Thanksgiving, I call U.S. Airways to book a flight with, in the parlance of our times, a voucher - the very one I received traveling to the very same destination. And I am told, over the phone by the an EXTREMELY rude reservation person (who, at one point, openly laughed at the idea that would use, in the parlance of our times, a voucher for this flight), that the only flight for which, in the parlance of our times, my voucher can be used is on November 28th. For those still keeping track, that is the DAY AFTER Thanksgiving. Again… touché, U.S. Airways.

So the idea that someone MIGHT want to use, in the parlance of our times, a voucher they received over the holidays for a holiday trip - apparently that’s just crazy talk. Of course, saving, in the parlance of our times, the voucher for this Christmas is not an option as it expires on December 21st. Trois touché, U.S. Airways.

So, would I ever fly U.S. Airways again? Well, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, you can’t get fooled again.